Exploring Your Sexuality as a Virgin

Virgin Sexuality

Whether you decide to do it solo or with a partner, starting your sexual journey is a big decision. There's no limit to sexual exploration, and the whole experience will probably last until the end of your life. But as much fun as it is to experiment with different things and kinks, you should do it safely.


Unfortunately, many individuals face shaming, awkward questions, and judgment from others when they want to explore anything sexual. For this reason, people often refrain from asking questions, leaving them vulnerable to risks, mistakes, and false information. But the good news is that you can avoid (most) painful and bad experiences with the right guidance. So, keep reading if you want to learn how to explore your sexuality as a virgin safely.


Think About Why You Want to Do It


It is important to clearly define why you want to terminate your virgin status and venture into the world of sexual pleasure. Is it because of curiosity, pleasure, and desire to feel intimacy? Or perhaps you feel pressured by society, peers, expectations, or your nagging partner?


Bear in mind that becoming sexually active will not guarantee a closer or longer-standing relationship with your partner. It will not make you more mature nor give you an advantage or status over others. The right motivation is the key to successful sexual exploration. So, you have to feel comfortable about your decision and want it only for you.


Define What Boundaries and Consent Mean to You

Only you can decide what you want and what feels good. But since consent can look different for individuals and their partners, it is important to establish what consent means to you. So, if exploring your sexuality involves another person, talk about boundaries beforehand. That way, you will define what language to use to indicate what feels comfortable and what doesn’t.


Everything You Feel Is Normal and Acceptable


Spirituality and cultural beliefs might have an impact on the way you think and feel about sex. For this reason, it is normal to struggle with guilt and shame when you first start exploring sexuality. For some people, such feelings never truly go away.


If you are in a similar situation, prepare yourself for strong negative emotions. You may feel guilty or ashamed for attempting something new, and you may realize that some of your activities do not align with spiritual and/or societal norms. So, think about your beliefs and why you accept and honor them. Next, try to find a way to combine your curiosity and growth with your faith.


Fear and anxiety are other common emotions that can surface when venturing into the world of sexual pleasure. However, you don't have to face them alone. Find a group of people IRL (in real life) or online who struggle with the same. They will provide you with the support you need to power through this stage.


Try Exploring What Feels Good By Yourself First


If you are okay with it, begin with masturbation. There's nothing wrong with taking care of your own sexual needs. Figuring out what gives you pleasure on your own (before having sex with another person) can change your status from virginity to sexual experience.


That way, when the time comes to pop the cherry, you will feel more confident. Also, you won't be going into the action totally clueless. You'll be able to help your partner and let them know how to please you better.


Visit a Doctor Beforehand


If you decide to embark on this journey with a partner, make sure you both go to a doctor first. Check for pre-existing conditions and vaccinations, and take preventative measures, such as birth control. If your partner is already sexually active, ask them to do a test for STIs and STDs.


You can also learn about the many types of contraception available. Just make sure to ask about side effects, especially if you are already taking other therapy.


Have Regular Checkups


As you start being sexually active, it is vital for your health to visit a doctor at least once a year. That way, you can get checked for STIs and catch STDs early on. According to the statistics, about 16% of Australians report having an STI at least once in their life. Remember, many people can be infected without experiencing any symptoms.



Keep in Mind That There's No Right or Wrong Way to Do It


Being sexually active means different things for different people. For some, having penetrative sex with a partner marks the beginning of their sexual exploration. Others think of masturbation as a perfect way to explore pleasure.


Each sexual experience is unique, and there is no one way to analyze it. Furthermore, sexual exploration is a personal choice and, as such, entirely subjective. So, go about it the way it feels most natural to you. Just remember your reasons for doing it, and don't forget about boundaries and mutual consent.


Final Thoughts


Your sexual life does not have a statute of limitations. You may start having sex at any moment in your life and change your mind as you go, deciding what is best for you and your partner at any time(s). So, there's no reason to rush and set yourself up for failure by making rash decisions.


That said, you can explore your sexuality as a virgin only once in your life. That means you are in for an amazing and fun experience. Just be honest with yourself and do what is best for you.




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