Let's Talk Orgasms


Orgasm, the big "O", climax, release, the peak, rapture — we all desire it and would go to great lengths to achieve it. It is a feeling so powerful that the French call it la petit mort, or the small death, because you feel like you've died and gone to heaven for a few blissful moments (or minutes if you are lucky).


But although we talk about orgasms all the time, there are so many misconceptions and half-truths about them. The movies and TV shows (looking at you, Hollywood) make it seem like jumping straight into the missionary with no foreplay is a proven recipe for a simultaneous orgasm. What's more, everyone experiences climax in a different way, so comparing notes with your friends usually leads to another dead end.


So, what is the real truth about orgasm? How can you experience it during masturbation and sex with a partner? Read on to find out!



Facts About the Big "O"


An orgasm is described medically as changes in the body caused by the great pleasure that create an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Regardless of gender, an orgasm is triggered by the same thing for everybody: Stimulation.


Did you know that there are 24 types of orgasm? We didn't either. They all come from stimulating various body parts and can feel different depending on multiple factors.


But no matter how you get there, the feeling is so good because of the cocktail of hormones released during the experience. Prolactine, dopamine, and oxytocin flood your body making you feel satisfied, relaxed, and closer to your partner.


Since orgasm is one of the most interesting topics for humans, modern science didn't shy away from researching it thoroughly. Take a look at some facts about climaxing.


  • Multiple orgasms are real, and men can experience them too.
  • Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same (men can ejaculate without orgasming and orgasm without ejaculating).
  • Women can ejaculate
  • You can orgasm in your sleep.
  • Both men and women fake orgasms.
  • On average, it takes women ten to twenty minutes to reach orgasm, while men need only five to seven
  • The more you orgasm, the healthier you are.
  • Only 18% of women can reach an orgasm from penetration alone.
  • One-third of sexually active people report they've never experienced a release.


How to Orgasm During Solo Play


Now that we know what orgasms are all about, it's time for some action. There's no better time to explore orgasming than during masturbation. That is because most people find it easier to relax and enjoy stimulation while alone than during sex with a partner. So, if you are willing to see what all the fuss is about, here are a few tips on how to reach orgasm while playing solo.



Get in the Mood


Orgasm, or masturbation for that matter, won't happen if you keep thinking about the fight you had with your colleague, the shopping list for tomorrow, or how late it is. For the big "O" to blow your mind, you need to forget about the world and focus on those few inches of skin that feel oh-so-good. So, try to relax and get in the mood. Fantasize freely, watch some porn, lie in your bathtub — indulge yourself until you feel warm and wet all over.



Experiment with Different Positions


While changing positions is fairly common in sex, most people never even think about it during masturbation. However, new angles can do wonders for self-pleasure too.



Try a Toy or Two


There are so many sex toys you can try that can make the whole experience more exciting. G-spot stimulators, clitoris massagers, and toys for nipple or anal play are just a few items you can include in your masturbation routine.



Use Both Hands


While one hand is working on your genitals, use your free hand to explore other erogenous zones. Stimulating your nipples or perineum can help warm you up and even experience a full-body orgasm.


How to Orgasm During Sex


Try including everything we mentioned in the previous section. Sex toys, switching positions, and watching porn can be game-changers for you. Still no luck? Here are a few other tricks you can experiment with to help you and your partner reach bliss.


Speak Up


Communication is the key to better sex with a partner. So, if your goal is to climax during intercourse, you should be open and honest with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t.


Prolong Foreplay


A good warm-up is necessary for any physical activity. But impatient as we are, we tend to rush over this part to get to the "good stuff," which is a big mistake. Foreplay increases the excitement and makes you more sensitive to stimulation. It preps you, turns you on, and makes you feel more present in the moment — all of which is necessary for the big "O".



Try Your Luck with Oral Sex


Set aside a few evenings just for oral sex. No pressure, no rush. The goal of the game is to learn what drives you over the edge.


What If It Doesn't Work?


There will be times when nothing you do will help you reach an orgasm. Many factors can affect your ability to climax, like stress, hormones, and mood. And that's okay. There's no rule saying every solo session or partner play has to end in orgasm.


You don't have to race to reach the finish line — both masturbation and sex are pleasurable on their own. Simply relax and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

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