There was an article back in 2019 about how Americans are having less sex than ever before. This Great American Sex Drought reached its peak in 2018 when 23% of adults have spent at least a year without sex. What's even more surprising is that one-quarter of that 23% were men in their twenties. This statistic means that we are changing our view of what healthy sexuality is and that people are gaining more courage to dodge the stereotypes.
But what is healthy sexuality? And more importantly, how do you achieve it?
What Is Healthy Sexuality?
Sexuality is a natural part of human behavior. However, healthy sexuality is so much more than just discovering your sexual orientation (although that’s an important part of it). Experts in the field say that healthy sexuality is a positive attitude toward your body, nudity, and sexual urges. Moreover, it means the ability to integrate sexuality into your daily life.
Sexuality is a vital part of being human that keeps us young and devoted to ourselves and others. Healthy sexuality includes:
- Feelings and attitudes
- Physical and emotional needs
- Sexual desires
- Pleasure and fulfillment
- Self-image and respect
So, a person who has a healthy view of their sexuality would have the following features.
- They would feel good when talking about their feelings and values
- Such a person would be free to initiate or refuse sex
- Also, they would enjoy sexual expression, arousal, and orgasm without feeling guilty, ashamed, or fearful
- They would freely exercise their sexual rights
That being said, everyone has different sexual behaviors depending on their sexual needs, gender, age, and health. So, we have to admit that there isn't one definition of healthy sexuality — it varies from person to person.
People express their sexuality in many ways. But, generally speaking, you can practice your sexuality through abstinence, communication, masturbation, outercourse (intimacy without intercourse), and intercourse.
Why Do We Stray Away From Healthy Sexuality?
Modern times have brought us a better understanding and more freedom to talk about sexuality. However, we can't honestly say that the majority of people practice healthy sexuality. So, what went wrong?
We come into this world free of any boundaries. When we discover our genitals and how it feels good to touch them, we see nothing wrong in enjoying such pleasure. And then society comes.
Society tells us how to feel, think, and talk about our sex and pleasure. It tells us about proper terms, relationships, and sexual expressions. Moreover, it tells us about its expectations.
And this isn't all bad. Everyone needs some guidance, especially when first entering the adult world. However, in many instances, we end up with a crippled, narrow view of our own sexuality.
In addition, as we grow older, we get hurt, betrayed, and heartbroken. And in response to that, we become defensive and distrustful. Our emotions and experiences strongly influence how we feel about ourselves and how we view our sexuality.
When we are young, sexuality feels natural, and, ideally, society should teach us how to nurture it and express it. As we grow older, our sexuality should age and mature with us. But more often than not, something goes wrong along the way, and we stray away from healthy sexuality.
Why Is Healthy Sexuality Important
Rediscovering your sexuality has many benefits. It means that you will become aware that you are a sexual being and find the best way to explore pleasure. You can do this alone or with someone else — it's completely up to you.
Moreover, nurturing healthy sexuality means spending time developing your erotic side. When you get in touch with that part of yourself, you will feel centered, connected to your feelings and urges, and more confident. It will show in your attitude and appearance.
Enjoying pleasure and the erotic side of you will also have a few physical benefits. Some of them include increased sensuality, better orgasmic response, better sleep, improved circulation, pain relief, and decreased anxiety.
If you are trying to reconnect with your sexual self, first, you need to throw away all learned ideas about sex and start again. But this is not that easy, we know. So, here are some tips to make it easier.
1. Connect With Your Senses
People usually don't have the time to connect with their senses and enjoy what gives them pleasure. They are more likely to respond to something that feels bad. So, your task is to pay attention to what feels good.
Those moments of pleasure don't have to be sexual. Enjoy the feel of warm water on your skin, the smell of your washed sheets, or the taste of strawberries.
2. Find Your Core Fantasy
Most of us have certain fantasies that we return to time and time again. The scenarios might be different, but there's an underlying idea that unites all of your erotic fantasies. So, think about what makes them so sexy? What part of them turns you on?
Maybe it's being so desired that somebody is willing to break taboos just to be with you? Or maybe what turns you on is being with someone who is completely free and limitless in their sexual expression. In any case, you should find the core fantasy and examine it further.
This revelation will open up a whole new area for you to explore. And if you decide to share it with your partner, maybe it will become something you can enjoy together.
3. Let Go of Expectations and Pressure
One of the most common reasons people never try new things, sexual activities, and fantasies is because they think they won't be good enough, won't get aroused, or orgasm quickly enough. However, it would help if you approached your sexuality as a new skill to acquire. Don't be afraid to explore, try, fail, and try again until you figure out how it works.
If you decide to embark on this journey, we promise it'll be fun. Forget the deadlines and pressure, just focus on pleasure. Healthy sexuality is about loving yourself, not getting off.
Final Thoughts
The twenty-first century has brought many new insights into healthy sexuality. However, we can still feel clueless when it comes to our own sexual expression. Feeling out of touch with the erotic side of our personality can influence our relationship with ourselves and with others.
So, take time to understand the importance of healthy sexuality. Try tearing down the walls and start exploring that vast erotic space inside you. By doing so, you might discover a piece of yourself that you didn't even know was missing.