We can all agree that orgasms are amazing
Today, we know that orgasms are a normal — and highly desirable — part of sexual pleasure and they are fantastic for the general well-being!
But it wasn't always like that.
In the past, female orgasm was considered bad news. In fact, many cultural and religious beliefs led society to create a stigma around female sexuality and pleasure. And guess who made those beliefs? We’ll give you a hint: it starts with an m and has a penis.
But it was in the 19th century that wrong ideas about female orgasm got so-called scientific proof. That happened thanks to Freud's, erm, insightful approach to sex. So, from that time on, many "experts" claimed that women should have only vaginal orgasms.
But wait, there's more: women were supposed to only experience vaginal orgasm when having sex with a man. So, any other form of sexual pleasure was a big no-no. And that included masturbation, sex toys, clitoral orgasm, and queer sexuality, to name a few. Women who dared to cross this limit were labeled as masculine, harlots, or insane. Lovely, isn't it?
Sadly, this stigma around female orgasms didn't stay in the past where it belongs. Many women still have to deal with it one way or another.
However, today psychologists are doing their best to correct this situation. They try to educate and remove wrong ideas about female sexuality. So, here's how we are fighting the stigma of female orgasm.
Women Can Have Orgasms Without Men — How Crazy Is That?
In the Victorian era, people thought that women who enjoyed clitoral pleasure were ill. For example, they declared women to be hysterical if they looked too sexual. Ah, yes, hysteria, the famous female mental illness. Who can possibly save us? Well, men, of course.
The treatment for having a sexual desire (or hysteria, apparently) was for a doctor to make women orgasm. If you thought that was bad, the other option was to remove their clitoris altogether.
And Freud had backed this up. He thought that adult women should outgrow the clitoral orgasm and only find pleasure in vaginal sex. Otherwise, they risk mental disorders.
Based on this, society thought that women who enjoyed clitoral pleasure were prone to psychosis. Moreover, the only right way to indulge in pleasure was through vaginal sex with a husband (but only your own husband, though). Women who couldn't orgasm this way were, of course, thought of as frigid, mentally ill, or lesbians (which was also named a mental disorder).
Women Fought Back (Finally!)
It was only in the sixties that the sexual revolution and a battle for the clitoris, pleasure, and sex toys began. Psychologists such as William Masters and Virginia Johnson started questioning Freud's wrong ideas. Moreover, they focused on women and their sexuality alone in their research.
The next idea society tried to tackle was that a woman should practice her sexuality only if married to a man. We wanted to give women back the right to explore pleasure, including their own clitoris. Moreover, we argued that there's more to sexuality than just intercourse.
So, from the sixties onward, various books, materials, and workshops focused on female pleasure, clitoris, and sex-positive information about sexuality. And it all climaxed (pun intended) in 1987 when people managed to remove homosexuality from the DSM in the USA. Experts then started to support the idea that different sexual orientations and pleasures are normal and healthy.
Female Orgasm Freed
Today, experts know that female orgasm doesn't come from the vagina because there are only a few nerve endings in there (take that, Freud). Instead, women experience orgasm by stimulating parts of a special system of nerves. This system is a bunch of connected nerve endings that start in the clitoris and extend deep into the body.
Therefore, (pay attention, manly men) there are no separate "vaginal" or "clitoral" orgasms. Women actually feel various sensations and climax by stimulating this system of nerves in various spots.
So, now it's all about sexual equality (finally). Sexual equality is the idea that people of all genders should freely enjoy their sexuality if it's based on respect and consent (and of course a sex toy or two).
Still a Lot of Ground to Cover
Despite the sexual revolution, there are still some residues of stigma around female pleasure. Women are often shy to talk about their desires during sex. They can hook up with someone but at the same time feel like it's too much to ask for pleasure in return. So, sadly, many women out there are still putting up with bad sex.
Final Thoughts
Yes, orgasms feel great, and they have many health benefits. Orgasms make your skin better, help with depression, and can lower your pain. Still, we had to fight long and hard to be able to enjoy them freely. And one of our biggest victories is beating the stigma that women should orgasm from intercourse (with their respective husbands) alone.
Everyone should enjoy sexual pleasure. So, don't let the stigmas hold you back. Orgasms are good for you, and you can enjoy them solo, with a partner, vaginally, or any other way you want it (with another consenting adult, of course).